where does the fat come from?

i think most of my fat intake is from coffee. i dont mean "total fat grams" i mean like actual fat. who likes to think of drinks as calories? i sure dont. coffee is the worst! i need it so badly...but have you ever had coffee without caramel or flavored half and half? its gross! equal used to be a savior, but that apparently will kill us all soon anyway.

ive tried agave nectar in my coffee which is actually pretty good. its expensive which makes me not want to use it all the time. when i have extra cash, i definitely waste it on starbucks and dunkin donuts and 7-11 and well, any place that sells my beloved flavored coffee.

at starbucks i will order a non-fat caramel macchiato with equal. depending on the size, the number of points increases. i can guarantee you i dont count correctly. i know for a fact that a tall is 3 points. im pretty sure i like to pretend that a grande and a tall are the same. other times ill be boring and somewhat conscious and get a nonfat latte...2 points. pros--amazing! cons-$4 for a coffee!!!

at 7-11 i will make my own regular brewed coffee--hazelnut flavor--doing okay so far...until the dreaded coffee bar. they have the international creamers that are amazing...have you had the french vanilla? mixed with hazelnut coffee? you should try it. but only if you promise to measure out 2 tablespoons. wait? who does that in the 7-11? not me. ill pour it in until its a beautiful tan color. so my non-fat coffee just gained some fat. pros-CHEAP, cons--i have no idea what the point values are.

at dunkin donuts i have the added threat of donuts and munchkins. you can have a munchkin for 1 point a piece. who in the hell only eats one munchkin? not me. i can tell you that one day i ate 6. i felt horrible about myself later...but while eating the munchkins? no way, it felt great. if you are someone who doesnt eat munchkins, go away. you have no idea.

anyway, so i think im done with coffee for awhile. i cant drink away my calories. id rather eat them. for mornings where i need a pick-me-up, it may have to be a non-calorie diet coke...or a plain coffee from home.

ive been trying to just down water. we'll see how that goes.

today i had a bagel that bob and i bought from target--4 points (not bad). covered in spray butter and 1 laughing cow cheese (i pretend its cream cheese). 5 points total. lunch consisted of a trader joes rice noodle bowl for 6. pretty good. then some broccoli slaw, some trader joe cookies (all counted out), 90 calorie quakes and some veggies from the cafeteria downstairs. im feeling pretty full (also from water).

now im chewing gum. its the only thing that makes me forget i really want a cheesesteak.